Are Personal Boundaries really that important?
We all have some personal boundaries even if we think we don't.
At some point you will of said, no I'm not doing that or that's not for me. Maybe you have left a relationship because of them, or even a job. There are just some things that cross the line.
That line is your own personal boundary.
Are personal boundaries that important? Or it is just a case or morality, being a good person or citizen? Who sets these boundaries? The government, religion or society? Where do you take your boundaries from?
Do you read news from around the world and are outraged by what is happening? Who is setting these boundaries?
Do you set your own moral compass?
What I mean by this question is do you have a choice on the personal boundaries that you set?
We all have a choice on how we wish to be treated. What we will tolerate. The way that we will act towards ourselves and others.
When you really think about it personal boundaries are everywhere.
Most of these are automatic to us through what we are taught growing up. Taking on those boundaries of our parents, teachers, guardians, adults that have had an influence on our lives.
There comes a time in all of our lives when we need to take accountability, we need to become an adult and be 'grown up' about things.
A fault with this is that we then start to judge other people based on our thoughts and feelings.
'I can't believe they did that'
Sound familiar? I think you are starting to get the idea.
How far can we take personal boundary setting? Actually how far should we take it?
The truth is you can take it as far as you want. Learning to know what is acceptable to you and what isn't starts to get into the realms of self-awareness.
(Self-awareness is a hard complicated business made up of so many different pieces that at times seem unconnected but they actually form a whole.)
When we start to set boundaries we have to remember 3 things:
How set in stone are they? Are they flexible for different people? Because it's ok to set different boundaries for different people. It all comes down to trust in that person and if they are going to take advantage or not.
These boundaries are your choice. Not everyone is going to accept them. Some people may even walk away from you and that's ok too. This comes down to respect and understanding.
Are you strong enough to enforce your boundaries? You have made the choice to set them and you must be strong enough to accept the consequences of them too. Like all choices in life, you have to accept all responsibilities. You can't ever look to blame anyone else.
I can not stress enough that this is your choice.
If any of this sounds like you need help with please get in touch or even book a free 30 min call with me.
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